It has been a long time since i update.
my life was pretty much messed up. things are going beyond my control.
I am so sorry to 2 of my dearest! I am sorry that i didn't attend any of the birthday celebrations!
I really regret and please forgive me! We shall meet up sometime soon, my dears.
I need a heart to heart talk soon.
Short update on my attachment. Well, have been doing PMs for the Labs including the mortuary and histology labs. I was being exposed to things like organs, aborted babies, dead babies and also things that they did to do investigations, such as are cutting up the bodies and etc. I don't mean to scare anyone but these things really haunt me. especially, the body of the pre-born baby it really scare me. It somehow makes me feel that life is so vulnerable, you may just lose it anytime. So treasure it! The abortions too, so please people don't do "silly things" unless you are really sure about it. If not, you are really killing a life and it will be a really terrible death.
to my dearest friend,
I am really sorry that i didn't attend your birthday celebration. i really feel so pressured and breathless when things just came crashing down. i am very confused and i really don't know what i can do about it. i know what i am doing isn't the right thing. however, there is something in life that you really don't want to lose. i know that he is someone i don't want to give up. he is someone i want to stay with, the feelings i put in is too much to take it back. whenever, i want to give up those happy thought just keep flashing in my mind. i know this isn't right, but i just want to give it another chance. Although, there are times whereby those things keep haunting me making me feel so terrible. i just don't want to regret and i hope whatever i am doing now will prove me wrong.
i understand everything you told me. i know you care, i really appreciate it. i really do and i need your support in the things i am doing now. if you also don't understand me, then no one will. I don't want to lose you, no matter what you will always be my dearest friend. i love you.
